Disney's "John Carter" Not this Generation's "Star Wars" -- Review

My family and I finally had the chance to see Disney's John Carter this past weekend. While I enjoyed it, it was not the Edgar Rice Burrough's tale that I love. Several seemingly small changes were made; however, these "seemingly small changes" added up to a story that was not A Princess of Mars, nor the characters and world created by ERB.

SPOILERS***SPOILERS***SPOILERS***SPOILERS

Please stop reading here, if you do not wish to know some spoilers.

After viewing the theatrical trailers released prior to the movie hitting theaters, I was apprehensive walking into my favorite mega-theater-complex. There was a scene in one of the trailers in which it is mentioned that if John Carter doesn't stop the threat that is menacing Barsoom, that Earth will be next...Huh?, I thought. I don't remember any universe shaking threat from the first three books that were a potential threat to the universe, so what is this about?

However, what really raised my hackles was the phrase spoken during a television commercial for the film: THIS GENERATIONS STAR WARS! I have heard this moniker attached to too many science fiction films over the years, and they always fail to deliver. There will never be a "this generations Star Wars", not even the three prequels made by George Lucas himself measured up as "this generation's Star Wars". Please Hollywood, stop making promises you can not deliver upon. I tried to stay objective and to quiet the nagging of this statement in the back of my mind while viewing the film. I thought to myself, "don't let a bogus Hollywood marketing scheme cloud your vision". I feel that I succeeded.

As I mentioned earlier, there were several small changes made to ERB's original story for the film that I did not approve of; understand, that I am not THAT GUY. You know THAT GUY. THAT GUY insists upon absolute purity to his favorite story whenever it is switched from one media to another. THAT GUY is still pissed that there was no Tom Bombadil in The Lord of the Rings movies. I recognize that when one of my favorite stories is made into a movie or adapted to comic book format, or any other type of media other than its original conception, it will be based upon my favorite story, and most likely not a strictly shackled reformatting for another media medium. Some things just don't translate well from the written page to the large screen, it is a fact. Also, some stories are so lavishly long, that cuts must be made; for instance, the cutting of Tom Bombadil from the LotR does not change the over reaching story line.

These are not the types of changes that I am here after complaining about. So, at the risk of being THAT GUY, here we go...

First up, the character of John Carter, as presented in the movie versus the character presented by ERB is not the same. The John Carter created by ERB is brave, chivalrous, decisive, honest to a fault and craves combat. Yes, he is written like some sort of impossible man, but this is what makes him special. He is everything most boyhood fantasies dream about one day becoming and that was the point. ERB's Carter is even seemingly ageless! Burroughs goes out of his way to make him more than human; however, Hollywood does everything possible to make Carter more human.

The Captain Carter of the movie is a survivor of the Civil War, he fought for the South, and while he survived, his wife and daughter did not...wait?...what?...yes, I said "wife and daughter", you know, the wife and daughter that ERB never made mention of, but Hollywood felt compelled to add to make the character of John Carter more sympathetic and human. Furthermore, the John Carter of the movie, re-imagined as a war ravaged loner haunted by the death of his loved ones, wishes to be left alone so he can find the fabled lost gold of the Spider Caves (another slight alteration made for the film). He seeks the gold of the spider caves not out of a sense of adventure (as ERB's John Carter would have), but because he wants enough gold to live his life out in comfortable solitude (which, I must admit, is a sentiment ERB's John Carter might share). Both ERB's Carter and the Carter of the movie are good in a fight, but ERB's Carter is amazingly good in a fight and seeks the thrill of combat, while the Carter of the movie is good in a fight, not amazing, the Dejah Thoris of the movie is seemingly his equal, and I got the sense that while he wouldn't back down from a fight, he does not crave combat in the same way Burrough's Carter does; however, I must make mention of one very Burroughs like scene in which Carter fights off wave after wave of enemies.

The other slight alteration made for the film, I all ready alluded to. In the film, the Zodangans have been given the 9th Ray, which makes them a threat to all of Barsoom. The 9th ray was given to them by the Therns, which for the movie have been given magical like powers and it is assumed that they have travelled across vast distances from world to world, shaping those worlds to their liking while hiding in the background. This change, I believe, was made to give the film an epic feel. Burrough's A Princess of Mars was not epic. The story is more episodic and there is no arch villain of the book. Later, in the subsequent novels The Gods of Mars and Warlord of Mars, there are presented arch villains in the guise of the Therns and their false goddess Issus. I can understand why it was believed that having an overall bad guy would appeal to the modern movie goer, so this sin, I forgive.

There were several other changes, but overall I did enjoy the film. No it is not this generation's Star Wars and it was not a faithful adaption of A Princess of Mars, but it never promised to be the later; however, it was an enjoyable film. I will purchase it on Blue-Ray when available, and I am willing to see any sequels.

Dark Horse Comics,"Queen of the Black Coast"

I am a fan of all things Robert E. Howard, particularly Conan. I do not disdain pastiche, but I avoid bad pastiche. For that reason, when I want good Conan pastiche, I prefer it served in comic books.

Over the many years of my reading Conan comics and comics in general, I have read some great stuff and some not so great stuff. For me the Golden Era of Conan comics is with no doubt the black and white pages of Marvel comics The Savage Sword of Conan.

However, I have been reading the Dark Horse Conan, and all of their adaption of Robert E. Howard's creations since they began publishing them. Over all, they have done an admirable job. I have had mixed reactions to some of their stories and art choices, but it is good enough, I keep coming back for more.
Of particular interest to me is for months now, DH has been teasing their fans of an upcoming adaption of "Queen of the Black Coast". While I enjoy a well done Howard creation pastiche, I always welcome a new adaption of a Howard classic.

Having just read issue one of Conan the Barbarian, I can say that this will be an interesting adaption; however, I think some fans will hate it for the reason that I am digging it. Let me explain.

Artistic representations of Conan have changed very little over the years. This is due to the art of Frank Frazetta and John Buscema. Both did such an excellent job of capturing the visual imagination of Conan and comics fans, that their depictions of Conan stand over all other new comers. In other words, all depictions of Conan will be weighed against theirs. This is despite that fact that for thirty years Conan was not drawn to look any thing like Frazetta or Buscema's renderings (to see what I'm talking about, click here).

This adaption of Queen of the Black Coast will be illustrated by Becky Cloonan. I am not familiar with her previous work, but I am such a fan of the inherent sexiness that she is installed in her renderings of Belit thus far, that I will be seeking out her past and future work. To see what I mean, check out these interior pages from issue one.

Cloonan has not only made Belit sexy, she has also made her a bit scary. There is an under current of the forbidden or taboo in her drawing of her.

Frankly, this Belit appeals to me.

As I stated earlier though, some will not like her art, and it is specifically her interpretation of Conan that they will not like. Here is another interior image, this time of Conan.

Cloonan's Conan does not fit the mold made by Frazetta and Buscema. Her Conan is not a mountain of muscle. That will be the biggest complaint. At first I looked at her Conan and thought, this is not Conan; however, I am a big enough fan of her Belit, that I am willing to try to accept this rendering of Conan.

I think she has captured his youth well. This adventure takes place when Conan is still in his 20's. He is reckless, but has enough experience that when he boasts, he is not simply crowing, so to speak. Cloonan is concentrating on his roguishness and not his brawn. It is not an approach that most Conan artists would take, but I think it may be refreshing.

I am looking forward to issue 2, as it should more prominently feature Belit.

Conan? Not so Much.

As I stated in a previous post, I spent much of my summer reading on all things Conan and Robert E. Howard in anticipation of the movie Conan The Barbarian (2011). While the new movie was largely a disappointment for me, re-reading, and in many cases reading for the first time, Howard's works was time well spent. I also sought out new "Conan" experiences. I watched, or attempted to watch both the 1997- 1998 TV series Conan the Adventurer and the 1992-1994 cartoon of the same name.

From the get-go, it was obvious to me that the live-action show, Conan the Adventurer, was going to be poor pastiche at best. I remember catching a few episodes when the show was originally airing, and thinking, "what is this happy horse-shit?" Meaning, anyone watching this show expecting Robert E. Howard's Conan, will be disappointed.

The Conan of the show is played by Ralf Moller. The Conan he portrays is kind, jovial and honorable. While REH's Conan could be those things, he was more of a loner and could be very unkind when the situation warranted. In the show Conan travels with a band of Adventurers to include Otli, a clever dwarf often used as comedic interlude, played by Danny Woodburn; Bayu, a martial-artist that must overcome his natural tendency towards greed and is often the brunt of Otli's jokes, played by T.J. Storm; and Zzeben, a mute, staff wielding, acrobatic warrior, played by Robert McRay. Many episodes often include the character Karalle The Queen of Thieves, who is a cross between Belit of "Queen of the Black Coast" fame and the character Valeria of the 1982 film Conan the Barbarian staring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Karalle is played by Aly Dunne.

In the show, Conan and crew face legions of bad guys that work for the evil sorcerer Hissah Zuhl (played by Jeremy Kemp). Hissah Zuhl enslaved Cimmeria and killed not only Conan's parents, but also the love of Conan's life (a girl that Conan met and fell in love with in a span of five days). I found it laughable that Hissah Zuhls minions were so easily beaten. They could have easily been replaced with cylons from the original Battlestar Galactica.

All in all, I couldn't stomach this awful Conan pastiche. I found the cartoon of the same name slightly better then the live-action Conan the Adventurer.

In the cartoon, Conan has a shield with a design of a phoenix upon it that comes to life via magic as a fledgling named Needle.This almost sounds cool, but Needle (irritatingly voiced by Michael Beattle) is the Jar-jar Binks of the Hyborean universe.

In the cartoon, Conan is voiced by Michael Donovan. In my opinion, Donovan tries way too damn hard to sound like a tough guy. He over does the machismo of his voice. Instead of machismo, he obtain cheese-mo. I will stop with the negatives of the show. The truth is, I suffered through four episodes and couldn't take it any more.

However, there were a few things I liked. The main bad guys of the show were serpent people. These are torn right from the pages of Howard's Kull stories, but have more in common with the same serpent people portrayed in Marvel Comics Kull books back in the day.

I may not have given the show that much of a chance, but I did find one episode I particularly enjoyed, "Hanuman the Ape God". It is worth mentioning that the Ape God of this episode is named after the Hindu Ape-God of the same name. In this episode, Conan and clan encounter an alien that is apish in appearance. The alien, Hanuman, is being held captive by the wicked ruler of a city that Conan comes upon. Conan ends up freeing him and returning his magic rod to him that allows Hanuman to return to his people. I really dug the science fiction angel of this episode, and appreciated how it reminded me of Robert E. Howard's Conan tale, "The Tower of the Elephant".

Unfortunately, despite how much I enjoyed the episode "Hanuman the Ape God", the show over all failed to resonate with my barbaric soul.

Random Encounter #2: Village of the Damned

It has been a slow Halloween for me; unfortunately, I came down with Fluzilla last week and I am still in the midst of fighting it.

Normally on Halloween, I go trick-or-treating with a family friend, his two daughters and mine own daughter; however, this year my daughter decided she is too old to need her Daddy with her, and feeling under the weather, I didn't put up too much of a fight.

I do select a scary movie for Halloween weekend viewing. I try my best to make it a movie I have never seen. This year was no exception. I selected the 1960 science fiction film "Village of the Damned" by Wolf Rilla.

It is a faithful adaption, or so I read on Wikipedia, of a The Midwich Cuckoos by John Wyndham. Cuckoos was published in 1957 and has been adapted to screen twice as The Village of the Damned, once in 1960 and again in 1995. I have never viewed the 1995 adaption, odd for me as it was directed by John Carpenter, one of my personal favorite directors. It is worth noting that the 1995 version stars Christopher Reeve in his last performance before becoming paralyzed.

The 1960 version is a creepy film. I was expecting some "cheeze", but there was none to be had. The film is dark in tone. It begins with a mystery and the sense of mystery continues until the shocking end. It is an invasion story in which society is subverted by the alien children. The horror creeps in as it becomes apparent that one of societies cherished treasures, her children, are the "other".

I'm attracted to films of this era that exploit the sense of "the other". With the Cold War raging, and only a bit over a decade past the dropping of the atomic bomb on Japan, there were a slew of science fiction films, stories and novels from the era that exploited the fear.

I've decided to add a new element to the few reviews I actually do for this blog. That element is a Random Encounter that can easily be slid into a fantasy campaign. In this case, I offer one inspired by the film.

Random Encounter #2: Village of the Damned
While traveling the characters come upon a tiny village. An old faded sign bears the wood burned word "Midwich" branding it thus. They come upon the village in the middle of the day. Just past the sign, there is a farmer's cart, the horse is asleep as is the farmer and what may be his younger son or farm hand. Both are slumped in the cart.

Investigation finds the same scene through out the village. It is obvious that the villagers are only sleeping, but nothing will arouse them. It is easy enough to rob the village, for those so inclined, but it is a poor village and not much is found worth stealing.

What caused the villagers slumber? A powerful sleep spell? A cursed item (perhaps now in possession of thieving characters)? Perhaps the village borders too close to the Fae, and they are involved. Could it be a Goblin plot? If so, what do the goblins gain by putting an entire village to sleep?

The villagers could wake up while the characters are there, or they may have to find a way to awaken them. This could be a straight forward adaption of the film to game, in which case the DM will have to devise a reason for the characters to stick around for the birth of the alien children. It would be easy enough to devise a reason for them to return two years later, when the children are born and well advanced beyond their years.

Instead of a straightforward adaption, the children could be part Fae, or goblin, further inspiration on Fae children that appear human could be found in the novel The Broken Sword, by Poul Anderson.

Conan or Clonan?

In this post, I am referring to the new Conan: The Barbarian movie. Let me state first that I have spent most of my summer reading, and in some cases re-reading, all things Robert E. Howard.

I've always been a fan of Conan, and I've been a peripheral fan of REH; however, it was within the past two years that I became a hard core REH fan.

My introduction to the character of Conan came from issues of Marvel Comic's The Savage Sword of Conan. These comics coupled with the "Arnan" movie drove me to a thirst for all things Conan that has lasted twenty years. As an adolescent, I devoured every Tor Conan paperback that I came across, gleefully innocent of the fact that most didn't match up to the real thing, and over the years, I have followed Conan in comic book form, traveling from Marvel to Dark Horse.

I'm not sure why it took me so long to become a REH fan, but it did. I read other things besides Conan, namely Kull and a few, odd Solomon Kane stories, but I never felt the need to dive into Howard's other creations. This changed with the recent Del Rey Robert E. Howard library series.

I bought them all as they came out, and read the Conan stories immediately. I must admit, I believe this is the first time I had ever read all of the Conan stories, I'm sure I had read most of them in one form or another - mostly various comics adaptions, but never all of them. My initial experience to the true Howard Conan stories was also through the Lancer editions edited by L. Sprague de Camp. Thus, I had never read un-edited Howard.

As I said, it was not until early this past spring that I began reading everything Howard that I could get my hands on. I bought all of the Del-Rey trade paper backs as they came out (minus The Horror Stories of REH, which I for some reason missed). It started because I was so impressed by the Solomon Kane stories that I immediately launched into the Kull stories, followed quickly by Bran Mak Morn, both "Best of" books, El Borak and sadly the last in the series "Historical Tales".

Wow. I am hooked. That being said, I finally found time to see the latest Conan movie at my local second-run-bargain theater. Even though I am now a solid REH enthusiast, I am not an REH Purist; meaning, there are REH fans that loath pastiche. It has been years since I've read any Conan pastiche (other than in comics, which I have read a mountain or two of), and while I am certain I most likely would not enjoy the Tor pastiche novels as much as pure REH, I do have fond memories of reading them. I will have to revisit them one day.

Even though I am not an REH Purist, I did not have high hopes for the new film. My feeling was that if it was better then Conan The Destroyer, or at least as good as "Arnan" The Barbarian (which I still enjoy watching to this day), I would be happy.

I left the theater happy with the $3 I spent on watching it. My son, who is neither an REH fan, nor a particularly big Conan fan, enjoyed it as well. Yes, I have problems with the overall plot, particularly, I had problems with the fact that for nearly two hours our heroes are dreading the bad guy completing and activating the mask. Spoiler Alert: Big Bad Guy does so, but the mask doesn't seem to do much of anything. It was akin to Sauron gaining the One Ring and after much dread, it just looks pretty on his finger.

There are other quibbles, Jason Mamoa has brown eyes, not blue, etc.. However, it was a fun movie. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough of a box office smash to warrant more Conan movies and that is sad. I can promise you this, it's better then, and truer to Howard's vision then the television show Conan the Adventurer, and the cartoon of the same name and don't even get me started on Conan and the Young Warriors.

Overall, three stars. It is not Conan, but is just more Clonan, but check your brain at the popcorn stand and enjoy.

Mini Review of Plundered Vaults and Report on Sessions 3 & 4 (WFRP)

One of my players all ready posted a report of session 3, but I wanted to add my own short report of that session and session 4 in preparation of session 5 tomorrow night and as a mini-review of the adventure and book it is found in itself.

I've been running my players through an adventure called "Sing for Your Supper" which is included in the book Plundered Vaults which you can read about here.

The book includes 3 reprints:"Rough Night at the Three Feathers", "Grapes of Wrath" and "The Haunting Horror"; and three new adventures: "For Love of Money", "Carrion Call" and the adventure at hand, "Sing for Your Supper".

Before I get to "Sing" I will say a few short words about the book itself. When it was first published in 2005 by Black Industries, it represented exactly what I had hoped for in a second edition of WFRP. When Hogshead (hereby designated "HH") stopped publishing the first edition of the game, fans such as myself were left in hiatus. HH had promised reprints of many long out of print Games Workshops titles. I was eager to buy, read and play a promised revision of the final chapter of the Enemy Within Campaign. The original "Empire in Flames", I have never owned, read nor played, but from what I've gathered, it was a flopping disappointed. I had managed by haunting my local game store and shopping online, to acquire most of the original first edition books; however, a few always alluded me. "Empire in Flames" and "The Restless Dead" were two of the few I have not yet managed to acquire. For the most part, I've given up on finding those books I've missed. The Doomstones Campaign never held much interest for me and the uber hard to find Realm of Chaos titles are too expensive for my purse.

Plundered Vaults was an early publication in the new line up. It included two scenarios from The Restless Dead, two adventures I did not own, and three new adventures. It seemed things were of to a good start. Black Industries was doing as promised. They were bringing back some hard to find older materials and publishing new material to boot. To their credit, before 2nd edition went "tits up" this promise was mostly carried out; however, a revision of "Empire in Flames" went, well, up in flames (pun intended). Now, with 3rd edition being published by Fantasy Flight Games, it is once again in doubt that an official revision to the seminal conclusion of TEW will ever see light. Three is a wonderful fan created re-imagining available by the golden pen worthy MadAlfred available for download here (I discourage my players from downloading and reading it).

I chose to open my campaign with "Sing for Your Supper" because it offered my favorite style of WFRP adventure which includes investigation, creeping doom and just the right mixture of combat. Written by Nathan Greavey, "Sing" is not a perfect adventure. While it does not necessarily depend upon players being led by their noses, it does make a few leaps in faith that players WILL follow up on sometimes obscure leads. I anticipated this ahead of time, and was able to fill in the blanks by making things jive on the fly. This didn't bother me for as GM, I welcome this opportunity. It did do exactly what I wanted. It served as a nice introduction to the flavor of the city of Nuln and despite a few false starts and a bit of moving things along on my part, it was a good investigation adventure. I added a bit more combat then was originally called for, but I did this by choice to knock the dust off the WFRP percentile dice. Now I will address the sessions themselves.

Session 3 was our first evening with no combat. There was actually minimal rolling of the dice. After the action heavy session 2, this was a nice change of pace. The players dug into the meat of the investigation itself and moved things along nicely. There were only three players for this session. Our new player was once again a no-show, and was for session 4 as well. We have not heard from him and at this point, I've ruled his character on official "Red-Shirt" status. Our out of town player was having technical difficulties and was thus unable to Skype in.

Session 4 was a different beast. We were up to what I now consider full-force, our out of town player was able to Skype in. As a group, they quickly followed up on loose ends from session 3 which launched them into the final confrontation with the adventure's villain, Emil Stark. This final confrontation involved confronting Emil himself, whom they killed, and encountering two beasts of chaos, the poor missing daughter of the butcher Herr Fleischer and a missing noble rake named Rudi who had also been horribly mutated.

In the end, despite the fact that the girl and her father were given the final mercy by Shallyan Priests, they received their promised reward of 25 gold crowns, quite a small fortune. Gottfried, our initiate of Sigmar, received a critical wound to the left hand. No doubt, they will spend part of session 5 learning the fate of Gottfried - it is not known at this point if he will be able to keep his hand -and spending some of their new found wealth. After this, I will launch them into an entirely different style of adventure.

Review: Heavy Metal Movie (1981)

Ahh, how I love Netfilx. When this movie was first released, I was only ten years old. I did manage to see it, I believe in 1982. I would often spend the night at my grandparents' house. One big selling point for staying at my grandparents was that they had "Home-Box". I would sleep downstairs, and watch late into the night. I discovered Heavy Metal late one night, and watched it (with the volume turned low, so Grandma wouldn't come downstairs and find me watching "dirty shows"). I was enthralled.

Due to the long unavailability of the film, I didn't watch it again until this past weekend. It is stream-able on Netflix. Some things just don't weather well with time.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate it the second time through, but it wasn't as "awesome" as my memory served. I can forgive the animation. For it's time, it wasn't horrible at all. This was one of America's first cartoon adventures for adults. Some of the stories still hold water, in a "check your brain at the door and just don't think about it too hard" sort of way.

The menu of short films is a mixed bag of things I love: hard boiled dystopian future noir with "Harry Canyon"; Sword & Planet with "Den" and "Taarna"; space opera with a splash of comedy in "Captain Stern" and "So Beautiful and So Dangerous"; and EC Comics style horror with "B-17". All of the stories are loosely strung together with a plot device of a glowing green orb called the Loc-Nar which is the sum of all evil. As a device, it works, but is clumsy and unnecessary. I suspect it was thrown in by the producers in order to be able to sell it as a movie versus an anthology of short films.

The later choice would have been more appropriate as it would be more in spirit with the magazine of the same name that serves as the inspiration for the film. My experience with the magazine is minimal. I have read a few stray copies here and there, but I am not a dedicated reader.

As to the shorts films that make up the movie, "B-17" was by far my favorite, but I have an inclination to like a story that would have fit well in the long defunct EC Comics line. "Taarna" and "Den" are close second and thirds for me. Again, these two segments play to my like of Sword & Planet stories, not too mention a strong dose of naked breasts and eroticism. I'll be honest, this movie lives as a cult classic in my mind for it's notoriety of having lots of animated naked women and lots of sex. "Den" plays to those strengths well with its plot line of a scrawny nerdy young man named Dan (voiced by the late John Candy) who is whisked off to another planet and has his body transformed into the muscular Den. On this mysterious planet, he scores with not one, but two beautiful women in less then 24 hours. That story line could have easily been one of my adolescent day dreams.

In short, this will always be a cult classic for me. It is not perfect, but for its intentions it was great. It has all the elements that I nostalgically love of early fantasy/science-fiction films from its era: a bit of cheese, lots of action, boobies, sex, blood and grit. Heavy Metal has one more element that many such movies of it's ilk and era did not have: a kick-ass soundtrack of 80's rock to include Sammy Hagar, Nazareth, Black Sabbath, Devo, Cheap Trick, Blue Oyster Cult and others.

I think gamers could take inspiration from the film. I'm sure my early games did. While that inspiration may come from the story lines, in my own games I think it serves as a reminder to show not tell, and in true Heavy Metal style, go over the top. Don't try to subdue your description. Give the players bright blood, gaudy dressed villains, memorable locals.

A few well placed buxom women with large exposed breasts never hurts either. Extra credit if you can supply a live action model to your gaming table.

Review: Princess of Mars (2009)

Waring, SPOILER alert for the film and the novel of the same name by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

I realize I run the risk of sounding like a slavish fan-boy, but wow, did they only skim Burrough's Princess of Mars before making this film? What's wrong with it? First off there is the modernization by having John Carter be a top-notch hot shit super soldier in the modern times. The film starts with him in Afghanistan, he is horribly injured in a confrontation with opium dealers then the gold Army sends him off to Mars (but not the Mars we know, another one, yup) utilizing a top secret method that is sort-a-kinda tested but not really. The reason? Well that remains unclear even after watching the film. At least John Carter is still from Virginia.

The Green Martians have only two arms, no extra appendages, all the cool stuff you might remember from reading the novel, such as John Carter becoming a respected member of the Tharks by learning and mastering their barbaric ways, that's not in the movie. Instead Carter learns to speak their language by eating a bug. Remember how he earned the respect of the Green Martians by teaching them animal husbandry and friendship? That's missing to. We don't get to see Carter's relationship with his faithful Martian hound Woola. There are no white apes, these are replaced by flying spider creatures, sooooooo less cooler then white apes (I dig apes).

There is no sub-plot involving the malign Sarkoja. Sola makes an appearance, but her story is never told.

Traci Lords as Dejah Thoris? Well first: she ain't red. Second, and this sounds cruel, but maybe twenty years ago. Traci Lords was 41 when this movie was made. In my mind, I picture a young dark haired beauty in her twenties, and oh yeah...RED!

Rumor is that Disney/Pixar is producing a live action/digital film that should see the light of day possibly in 2012. I recommend waiting for it and keeping your fingers crossed.

Review: The Phoenix Barony

I was turned onto David Bezio's The Phoenix Barony by James Smith of The Underdark Gazette fame. He pimped it for the November 28th 2010 edition.

I would like to say whole-heartedly, Thank You Mr. Smith for tipping me off to this and thank you Mr. Bezio for writing it. tPB is exactly what I have been looking for. I wrote previously that my Darkling Ways campaign had come to an abrupt end. Much of the reason for that was, as much as I enjoy the concept of creating my own game world, the actual work involved requires much more effort then I am willing to put forward.

What I needed was a bare-bones world to place my adventures in. I wanted something generic. Now there are many "generic" worlds out there, but most of the more popular ones such as The Known World (or Mystara, if you must, but ONLY if you must), Greyhawk, Blackmoor etc.; however, a well known generic world comes pre-packaged with player expectations formed from years of supplements, be those professional or amateur.

I wanted, needed, a setting that was generic, but with no pre-expectations. Again, I could have gone to any number of sources available on the web, and many of them are well done. The problem with most is I have found very few that are well done for me personally.

The Phoenix Barony is a short work, about 30 some pages. The artwork is tasteful and suited to the subject at hand. I found few typos, if any. There are bits of flavor fiction through-out that are well done and add atmosphere.

I own the PDF of The Phoenix Barony which I picked up from Lulu here. There is also a paperback edition available here, that after having read and mucked around in tPB with my players a bit, I am keen on buying it for myself as a Christmas gift.

From the publishers blurb:

The Phoenix Barony™ is a high fantasy adventure setting for the Labyrinth Lord™ RPG or any Basic/Expert Fantasy Role Playing Game. It is a concise lighthearted setting covering an area 100 x 100 miles. In this book you will find details on the world the Phoenix Barony is set in, descriptions of all the major locations in the Barony, history, Religion, organizations, and NPCs that make the setting unique. If that isn’t enough you will also find the details of a smaller adventure area within the Phoenix Barony, hints of further adventures that take place there, and a complete 1st level adventure to get you started.(OSRIC friendly)

That is an apt description of what you get "out-of-the-box". It feels like a "high fantasy adventure setting" very akin to what a generic 0ld-school D&D campaign typically feels like. If you're looking for dark and moody with low-magic, look elsewhere. In the author's own words:

"(The Phoenix Barony's)...only real "unique" quality is that it doesn't try to be. This setting is hopelessly traditional vanilla flavored high fantasy...Still, it is my hope in sharing that it is just thing that some people have been searching for.

Mr. Bezio explains in his introduction that this has been a labor of love for him for 26 years. "I began role playing in 1981 with a basic version of the world's most popular role playing game. Through several years and several editions the setting you hold in your hands gradually developed". I assume from that statement that his world was used with Basic D&D, Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, possibly first and second edition (hence the "OSIRIC friendly" comment from the blurb), as well as possibly 3rd edition. Reading through it, it seems obvious that this is a setting that grew organically. What makes it work for me, where other borrowed home-brew worlds have not, is he has kept it generic for 26 years. I'm sure there are details not included in his document that make his own personal Phoenix Barony unique then say mine, but he has made, I suspect, some wise editorial decisions in not including too many of those.

The Phoenix Barony is written with the intent of using Labyrinth Lord™ RPG. Mr. Bezio also states "or any Basic/Expert Fantasy Role playing game". I don't know if he ever intended Tunnels & Trolls™ to be included in that list, but I took him at his word and T&T 5th edition is my rules set of choice for my personal tPB game. My group and I are two sessions in and it is working wonderfully. I see this as more proof that Mr. Bezio has done a wonderful job of keeping his setting uniquely generic.

As promised in the blurb, you the reader are given details of an area 100 x 100 miles. These details are just enough to give you what you need, without overburdening you with superfluous details. A history is given that sets up the major bad-guy, Geltrod the Vermin Lord, and gives enough detail on the political situation to spark a DM's imagination. The same level of detail is given to religion, organizations and non-player characters. There are side-bars throughout that give more information for many of these topics. Mr. Bezio does all of this with a mere 20 pages.

From there the focus is narrowed to an immediate adventure area. In this section are three population areas along with three different wooded areas, lakes and rivers, roads and mountains. All of these are staples of such classic campaign kick-off modules such as Keep on the Borderlands. There is also a section titled "Places of Interest" which describe possible adventuring locals (some of which Mr. Bezio promises to publish adventures for).

The Village of Humble is given a thorough treatment as a default town to base adventures around or in (again a future adventure Vermin of Humble is promised). This section is well done. There is a map that is more then sufficient and all the shops that an adventure will need in his early career are included, along with the NPC's which run them.

Lastly, included is a short adventure meant as an introduction to the realm called The Lost Daughter. I am currently in the midst of running this for my players and will give more details on it at a later date. I will mention that The Lost Daughter is available separate as a free PDF, and it is generic enough to slide into just about any campaign.

All of what I have stated is praise, so I feel I must point out some faults. One glaring thing missing to me is a table of contents. That is forgivable, but it would have made page flipping easier; however, in all fairness, this is a short document. I will survive without a table of contents. I have read complaints in other reviews of some of the names being too generic or cheesy. I disagree, but there is an easy fix: change them if you don't like them. My main complaint, is hopefully not a complaint at all. Mr Bezio speaks of four adventures that will give more detail to the immediate adventure area. These are: Vermin of Humble, The Legend of Jub-Jub Lake, Dragon Head Peak and The Lost Keep. Of these, as of my writing this, only The Legend of Jub-Jub Lake is thus far available. It is my highest hope that Mr. Bezio will provide the other three adventures as promised and soon. I personally would love to see Vermin of Humble ASAP!

In summary, David Bezio has done a wonderful job of presenting a campaign world that is generic, yet doesn't feel generic. There is just enough meat on these bones to allow a DM such as myself to jump right in.